ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
When are your genitals available?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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