Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
