I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
