Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize