Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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