I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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