wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
