no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
