I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
