A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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