They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
