put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
