quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
