NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
