This girl is more easily done than said...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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