I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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