You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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