Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
