I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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