I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
