yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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