I must be too annoying 4 u.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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