i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
