Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
