Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
