Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
