playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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