I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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