He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We just shotgunned beers for America
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
my poor anus
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
