Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
