If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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