on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
