i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
