Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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