hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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