I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Randomize
