you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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