awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
