I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
