From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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