You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize