Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
