So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
