Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
