She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
