i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
