yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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