yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
