i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
