so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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