Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize