honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
