Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
