she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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