am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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