So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we're making bets on your personal life
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
