I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
