so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize