he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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