If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
