you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
