Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
