Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
