Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
